OCP would like to welcome Barbara Canez as our newest addition.  Barbara has graciously accepted our invitation to write the Eco-being column.  We would like to also thank Lisa Morris for her wonderful contributions and efforts on the past Eco-being articles.   Please read the Bio at the bottom of the page to learn more about Barbara Canez.

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Clearing the Leaves

I awaken. It’s morning. I can hear the sound of raking leaves. The window is open slightly. I smell the cool, damp air. I reach out of bed and push open the sliding door, then hastily tuck the covers close to my neck. The leaves are all around the yard and in the shrub beds, having fallen from the black walnut tree in large clusters of four to five hand-sized, brown leaves. Some leaves have stayed attached to their branches, creating a silhouette against the morning light. I wish I could paint the details I see. Maybe a photograph will capture my view. I will try it. I look at the clock. It’s almost eight – time to get up! I am happy to meet my day. “Good morning puppy!” I rub Sandi’s silken white fur on the side of her body and touch her pretty face. She has come to expect and appreciate a morning greeting from me. The air is cold.  I grab the door handle and close the sliding door.

I quickly clean-up and get dressed. Heading towards the kitchen, I can smell the coffee already made. I think: “Thank you, honey, I do want some coffee.” I make breakfast for my Dad and myself, and I take a tray up to him. He is always grateful and tells me so. I eat downstairs in the quiet of the morning with gratitude and awareness. Sandi reminds me she would like breakfast too. I prepare her meal, wipe her face, clean the sand off the sleepy corners of her eyes, and say “Eat your breakfast!” She happily complies. I pour a second cup of coffee.  I carefully place all of the dishes in the dishwasher. My coffee is in sight. I take a sip, it is delicious, and I carry it with me into my bedroom. I open the curtains. The pansies in the window boxes call to me – they are healthy, blooming and protected from the frost.

The homes are all very close here. From my window, I see my neighbor quietly working on his home addition, and he can see my window boxes from his window. I notice that the plants need some water. I have a small watering can for indoor houseplants. It will do. I open the window. My neighbor looks up from his work. I smile and water the plants. I have more window boxes. I hastily put on my socks and shoes, and go outside with my small watering can.  Breathing in the cool fresh air brings me instant peace. I look around my garden. Everything looks great. I dip the watering can into the large container for collecting rain, and as the can fills, water spills over the edge onto the ground. I water the window box first, then I look at my roses, and I water them too. A neighbor walks by “guten morgan” (good morning). “Guten morgan” I happily reply, feeling elated at the opportunity to interact with my adopted community. I see that one-third of the yard and the garden beds have now been cleared of leaves.

My dad likes to work. He shows me the new toad stools like they are a work of art. He starts to count them, and loses count. I count twelve big ones for him, and then I see many small ones. I do want to help clear the leaves, but first I will water. I get the big can from the shed, and start to water the front garden. I see Simone, Fied and El Fredia. I wave and say hello. Fied, (which I think is Fred in English) is almost two years old. I hear him say, Barbara, Barbara, Barbara! I go to him and El Fredia. I wrap my arms around them both and give them a big hug. I hug Simone. I tell her she is looking good. I see Anika in her car seat. I say hello. She starts to cry. Fied waves goodbye. I look at him in his autumn colored, footed, striped stockings and sweater. He smiles. I see a couple of front teeth, his blond hair, and his shining blue eyes crinkle up and twinkle with joy. I invite him to visit with me again soon.

I finish watering the plants in front yard, then on to the backyard. I raise the can over my head, once, twice, and now the last one. The can is nearly empty and tips over, rushing cold water down my arm and sweater. I shriek when the cold water hits me. Dad and I laugh. Another neighbor hears me and sees me in my garden. She is elderly and widowed, taken care of by her son who lives in an upstairs apartment in her home. She comes to the back fence. I join her.  She invites me and my father for a midday break. Do I have any other visitors now, she asks? No, just Dad and me right now, I reply. I understand the invitation to her place (or one nearby) includes coffee and cake with the temptation of Amaretto. I am not sure I have translated well, but we will be ready at half three, which I decide is 2:30, for a small adventure.

I go inside. I must write. My friend believes in me, and feels I have a talent for writing. I look at her website, and the website of those she links to, and then again who they link to…so enough procrastinating. I find my journal shoved in the bottom library shelf.  It is exactly where I left it when we have moved here, completely untouched. I write my introduction. I think it is fresh, hip and cool. This is great for my ego. Then I brainstorm on paper. I list the topics under the title “EcoBeing”. The first topic is, “My Summer Mediterranean Cruise”. I think the story is good, but not current with the season, so I try again. Next I try “Fall’s Bounty”, which I decide is too informational sounding, and vague. I look out the window. Dad has two-thirds of the yard cleared of leaves. I want to go and help him. I do enjoy being outside. I have confidence. I’ll finish my writing project and be able to be out in the fresh air. Thirdly, I list, ”Why I Don’t Want to Eat with a Plastic Fork”. I decide describing what I do want is a much better perspective and a general good rule of thumb to comply with. Lastly, I list “Why I Live Here in This Village”. Thinking of all the many reasons I live here I come to the conclusion this is a very broad subject, and it may take a novel to explain this topic.

After listing these titles, I thought it would be helpful to look at my friend’s guidance. Her guidance is, if I would like, to write a monthly newsletter in the EcoBeing section of her website, about living in balance with the world around me, using the lessons I have learned on my journey of personal growth and self-awareness. I say yes. I am an EcoGirl. I care about our world. Then I ask myself, what does living in balance with the world to me? To begin with, my personal growth has been internal. I hunt and sort out all of the thoughts and feelings I have inside me, making sure I recognize and validate each one, not labeling them as good or bad, but acknowledging their existence. In this process, I am finding my authentic voice. I embrace the idea that I am fully human with all of the divine power and weakness inherent with human nature. I see that others are fully human and interconnected with each other and this world, just as I am. My environmental connections begin as internal beliefs I feel as truth in my heart. Finally, I have set intentions relate to who I am as an EcoBeing, and how my personal choices affect the environment around me. It means to have awareness of my personal choices, and to know when I choose not to act, it is with the awareness that not acting is also a committed personal choice – as it is with accepting the pain of being in limbo while I’m not choosing. The bottom line is, in everything I do, I always have a choice.

In my relationship with myself as an EcoBeing my intentions are:

1. I have community interaction and am a good neighbor.

2. Nutrition is connected to my body, mind and spirit, and I respect my body’s needs.

3. Respect for the environment is my personal responsibility.

4. Meal preparation is an important consumer activity and what I buy impacts the environment.

5. I design my home environment to reflect my own family values.

6. I have daily involvement with nature.

7. I have a conscious relationship with animals.

I have made these committed personal choices. In sharing with you today, I feel a closer connection to you, my friends, and I have crossed over a bridge to extend my hand to you to take the challenge of self-discovery. I now go to clear the rest of the leaves with my father. I am thankful as I work, smelling the fresh air, and feeling the warm glow of connectivity with the community all around me.

My Personal Choice

How do I become enlightened by clearing the leaves in my yard? Laugh if you wish, we all have doubts. That voice is one you know well. It’s your thoughts creating resistance to choosing happiness. When I feel resistance, which is any feeling I impose upon myself that would deny my happiness, I look inside to find what the source of my discomfort.  Following the feeling to its root, I find an old agreement I have made. The old agreement usually contains an aspect of self-doubt, which at its root, is fear. I then re-evaluate my old agreement bringing it in-line with what I feel is true now.  I bring fresh air and a new light to interpreting an old, painful thought or unhealthy agreement I had made with myself.  I can change. I choose to be a warrior, to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, making a personal choice to feel my feelings without judgment. This is what enables me to open up to see and know my true self.

Why am I making a commitment to write?  I decided no one else can speak for me in my personal voice. I am unique, and have my own view. Did I have fear of failure for trying something new? Of course. My mind immediately pointed out many talented writers who have practiced their craft endlessly. Then I returned to my agreement with myself. No one else can speak for me in my personal voice. I am the expert on my own views. I challenge you to be an expert on your own views, to look at your intentions as an EcoBeing, and then to communicate your committed, personal choices. Write to me! Shout it out! I can hear you!

Sincerely, your friend in the world community, Barbara!

Barbara is a writer, artist, and a student of history and philosophy. Her current passion is in understanding and developing self-awareness techniques. She has become brilliantly awakened through the teachings she received during a spiritual journey with One Community Programs to Teotihuacán, Mexico. Barbara has lived and traveled extensively in North America and Europe, and is currently living in Frensdorf, Germany with her husband Daniel, her dad, Sherman, and her white lab/husky mix dog, Sandi. “My awaking has been sublime. It’s the inner work I do which sets me free, and then the environment aligns itself with my intentions. I see personal miracles of flow and synchronicity in my everyday life”.

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